well crap

i get to the point where i finally think that im okay.
im okay right?
wrong.
death is sooo prevalent this year.
i cant get away from it.
first kelley. then will. now my aunt.
why is this happening?
my heart is repeatedly getting shattered.
i feel like i cant take one more bad thing happening.
and may 31 is coming up. which means 2 years since i've lost jered.
im almost 19 but im still a kid.
i cant handle this.
i know that im not alone.
i know that i am ridiculously loved by my heavenly father.
we weren't meant to feel this pain.
we were made as holy beings.
to feel and be loved.
this year ive been broken.
more than ever.
its molding me into who im supposed to become.
it is going to allow me to help more people
and reach out to those who are lost.
i just dont like the process.
death is a nasty thing.
having someone taken away from you is the worst thing in the world.
yet all this pain makes me appreciate the ones i still have
and to cherish the life im living.
i have to stay positive.
everything in life has a purpose.
my God is a God of love.
He keeps his promises and will never let me down.
If God is for me, then who can be against me?

two words some it all up...

oh life!