beauty

beauty.
we're all full of it but do we really see it?
beauty in our brokenness is the most beautiful.
this whole thing im enduring is beautiful.
its let me see how much i really need to depend on Christ.
his sacrifice more than enough but he did it for us. for me.
i am no where near worthy.
he endured the pain so we wouldn't have to.
to me, that is pure beauty.
i am so thankful for great friends and an even greater God.
beautiful.

hjakdghaigajgadar

today i woke up and wanted to do nothing but lay in my bed forever.
ever have one of those days?
its weird how on some days i'm okay and then the next i feel so horrible.
i know its normal, i just dont like it.
people i've talked to say that the road im on is a long one, and the healing takes a long time.
but i dont want it to take time. i want it done now.
is that selfish?
im just tired of the pain, tired of crying and tired of being so down all the time.
i dont understand life and i never will.
but is it wrong to want answers?
my world has completely stopped but everyone around me keeps on going.
how can people forget how much im hurting?
it's not their faults, but it makes things harder.
i know that shutting myself from the world isn't going to help but its almost like i'm not doing it on purpose.
i already feel so alone.
its like im lost in this huge maze with no one around and im screaming for help but no one can hear me. either that or they can hear me but cant help or try and help me but im just too exhausted to do it.
klahdgjfhaj'ldgha[oughab'hagudga'o
thats how i feel right now; a scrambled and jumbled up mess.
all i can say is...
i'm ready for spring break.

Hold on to Jesus

Hold on to Jesus, and cling to his love
Rest deep in his mercy, whenever things get rough
And don't lose sight of his goodness
And don't ever doubt this truth,
That when you hold on to Jesus
He's holdin onto you.